VM : 011/2012. : ANOTHER CATHOLIC HUMILIATED DURING HIS NUPTIALS

Silent Voice

A/7  Rodrigues Compound, Malwani Village, Malad (W), Mumbai, 400095.   Contact No. 98707 19628

E mail:    silentvoice58@gmail.com

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VM: 011/2012

1st, July, 2012

 

ANOTHER CATHOLIC HUMILIATED DURING HIS NUPTIALS.

Hello Friends,

Memories of humiliation to one of our Catholic sister, must still be lingering on your minds. We are referring to the incident at OL of Remedy Church, Poinsur. In case you are not aware of it, click on following link.

 

https://silentmaj.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/vm-0062012-is-it-insanity-or-it-is-priests-vindictive-behaviour-at-its-worst/

Well, this is similar to it, with bit of a difference. Nevertheless, our Catholic brother has felt humiliated at the hands of Clergy, on the happiest day of his life. The venue was I. C. Church, Borivali. SILENT VOICE has taken up this matter with Archbishop. The attached correspondence should enlighten you about the whole issue. You decide, was it right on the part of Parish authority?

Besides, Fr. Savio Fernandes, Chancellor of Archdiocese, has advised us to keep away from such matters. Looking at state of affairs, vis a vis Clergy’s attitude towards Laity, we perceive, it is our Christian duty to help our Brothers and Sisters, who Come to us with their problems. SILENT VOICE will always stand for TRUTH AND JUSTICE, whether the Church authorities like it or not.

GREG

CATHOLICS FOR TRUTH TRANSPARENCY AND WEEDING OF

CORRUPT PRACTICES AT PARISH LEVEL

CLARIFICATIONS:         Fr. Daniel Fernandes, Asst. to Parish Priest, OL of LOURDES CHURCH, ORLEM; informed us that plaques bearing names of MLA and MP, which were put up in Church compound (VOICEMAIL, VM010/2012),  have already been removed. SILENT VOICE regrets the error, occurred due to lack of information. Correspondence to this regards has been posted in the Comments column of VM 010/2012.  SILENT VOICE also salutes the Parish authorities for the action.

Similarly, SILENT VOICE hopes, good counsel prevail and Parish authorities of OL of EGYPT CHURCH, Kalina; also will remove the multiple plaques put up in the precincts of the Church, in the name of Politicians, if they have not been removed already.

A devoted reader has pointed out to an error in the letter addressed to Archbishop (VOICEMAIL: VM 010/2012); It is mentioned SEVENTY CRORES, instead of SEVEN CRORES. The error is regretted. The readers statement and reply to him has been posted as Comments.

 

 

 

 

Voice OF A SILENT MAJORITY

Constuted UnderPara 29 of Christifideles Laici

(Post Synodal ApostolicExhortation ofH. H.Late Pope John Paul II)

A/7, Rodrigues Compound, Malwani Village, Malad (W), Mumbai, 400095. Contact no. 98707 19628.

E Mail:         silentvoice58@gmail.com

 

To,                                                                                                                                          13th, June, 2012

Most Rev. Cardinal Oswald Gracias,

Archbishop of Bombay,

 

Sub:    Catholic humiliated by Church authority, during his Nuptials.

Your Eminence,

Enclosed is a letter from Mr. Lyndon D’silva, who felt humiliated by the action of Parish authorities, of I. C. Church Borivali. He explains his plight he suffered at the hands of people of God, on happiest day of his life.

This is not the first case of high handed attitude of clergy, towards the Catholics desirous of getting their nuptials blessed according to Catholic rite. In the recent past, similar case was brought to your notice, from the Parish of, OL of Remedy Church, Poinsur. In this case, the nuptials were blessed before the mass, the couple sat throughout the mass and the Catholic bride was given Holy Communion. The only grievance in this case was the nuptials were blessed in improper place.

Similarly, your Eminence, in this case too, the same procedure could have been followed. And as far as we are aware of, all the Inter faith marriages are being conducted in this manner. Why then, some Priests deviate from this norm?

Your Eminence, Church is running Evangelization programmes through RITE OF CHRISTIAN INITIATION OF ADULTS (RCIA). Don’t you think, the attitude of these priests, has not only missed an opportunity to evangelize two non believers, but taken away two believers from the flock?

These two matters could just be a tip of an iceberg, which came out in open. Don’t you think there could be more such cases, swallowing their humiliation and walking away? Think it over.

Yours always, in OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST,

GREG R. PEREIRA

CATHOLICS FOR TRUTH TRANSPARENCY AND WEEDING OF

CORRUPT PRACTICES AT PARISH LEVEL.

Encl:               Lyndon D’silva’s Letter to SILENT VOICE.

Copy to:         Lyndon D’silva, Parishioner, I. C. Church, Borivali.

 

A Letter from aggrieved Party, Mr. Lyndon D’silva

Dear Gregory,

I would like to bring to your attention a really sad situation I faced when I was getting married. My nuptials were booked for 2nd February at 4.30 pm at Our Lady of Immaculate Conception Church, Borivali (West). Fr.Vincent Barboza was to preside.

In the various meetings I had with Fr.Vincent Barboza,he informed me that as I was marrying a Jehovah’s Witness, she will be considered as a non-believer of the faith and hence the normal marriage process would not be followed. Only a thanksgiving service will be offered, and the “Holy Communion” would not be given to me during my nuptial mass.

The mass started with Fr.Vincent Barboza welcoming us on the stairs outside the church and leading us down the aisle, a gospel reading, followed by a ring exchange, sermon, and the final blessings, after which the couple and two witnesses signed in the marriage register. All this was done during the Service except Holy Communion…Instead we were invited to sit for the 5.30pm mass, if I wanted to receive Holy Communion.

I am extremely disturbed that as a Roman Catholic for 47 long years and a Song Leader for 7 long years at O.L.of Immaculate Conception Church, Borivali(W) I was not offered Holy Communion during my nuptials. I need to understand why this was not given to me????….

I would like to bring to your attention that my cousin, who married a keralite Hindu was given communion during her mass.

A standard process needs to be followed for all Roman Catholics marrying outside the faith.

 

A Jehovah’s Witness cannot be considered outside the faith as they believe in the Almighty God Jehovah or Yahweh, Jesus Christ the son of God and the Holy Spirit, which is God’s active force.

I would like to mention that this incident has shaken my belief and faith and ever since, I have not stepped into the church to attend a mass.

 

Henceforth with no offences to the Catholic Church or to any Roman Catholics…I would not want to convert my wife to a Roman Catholic, and i will henceforth baptise my kids in the Jehovah’s Witness and also be happy to spread the message of Jehovah’s Witness…

 

Thankyou

Lyndon D’Silva

Response from Archbishop’s house

Mr. Greg Pereira

A/7, Rodrigues Compound

Malwani Village

Malad (W)

Mumbai – 400 095

Dear Mr. Pereira,

Your email of June 13, 2012, addressed to His Eminence Oswald Cardinal Gracias, concerning Mr. Lyndon D’Silva from Borivli, has been passed on to me.

On checking with Fr. Vincent Barboza, I realize that he has a different story to tell. Besides, he was surprised that Lyndon accused him (Fr. Vincent) of humiliating him when he did all he could to make the service meaningful and prayerful. In fact, he was not even aware that Lyndon was hurt because he had met him a few days ago and spoke to him in a very friendly manner. I have requested Fr. Vincent Barboza to sort out the matter with Lyndon.

Fr. Vincent has conducted the marriage according to the norms of the Church – such marriages are to be celebrated outside of Mass followed by Mass of the day (and not a ‘Nuptial Mass’). Communion was given to Lyndon during the Mass that followed. When the priest told Lyndon that there would be no ‘Nuptial Mass’, he did not mean that he could not ask for a special Mass. It appears that there was some misunderstanding and this could have been sorted out without interference from a third party, which only complicates matters.

In future, if people come to you with grievances against priests, please direct them to those priests or to their Parish Priest to sort out their problems – this is the Christian way. Rather than indulge in calumny, we should work to bring about a healing.

With every good wish,

Yours sincerely in Christ,

Fr. Savio Fernandes

Chancellor

 

Mr. Greg Pereira

A/7, Rodrigues Compound

Malwani Village

Malad (W)

Mumbai – 400 095

Dear Mr. Pereira,

There is a small correction that I would like to make with regard to Lyndon D’Silva’s case. I had mentioned to you in my email of June 19, 2012 that Communion was given to Lyndon during the Mass that followed. This is not true – there was some misunderstanding on my part when I spoke to Fr. Vincent Barboza. He now tells me that, after the marriage, when he came for the scheduled Mass, he was surprised to see that the chairs kept for the bridal couple were empty. He then presumed that they did not want to stay on for the Mass. Hence, Lyndon did not wait for the Mass so that Communion could be given to him.

With every good wish,

Yours sincerely in Christ,

Fr. Savio Fernandes

 

Lyndon Dsilva’s Response

Yes Greg,

1. My wife is “studing the Bible with Jehovah’s Wittness”. She is not baptised as an official member of their faith She embraces their life practices.

2. As such, this is not an inter-faith marrage. It falls in another category where one is a Roman Catholic and the other a Christian.

3. It was not insisted that she produce her Baptism Certificate from the Church of North England at Horniman Circle or even inform them about her intended marriage.

4. Jehovah’s Witnessess are Christians and so are Protestants.

5. My cousin married a Keralite Hindu boy, was offered Holy Communion during her wedding mass.

6. We did not attend the regular 5.30 pm mass that followed our wedding mass and hence I did not receive any communion.

7 I had booked a “special mass for our wedding” at 4.30 pm, by paying a sum of Rs.300/-.. I understand this is a special mass as it is not a regular 5.30pm mass or the 7.00 pm mass . In fact our booked mass was delayed by 25 minutes as their was a sudden funeral mass before our mass, which resulted in a delay.

8. If the above is not construed as a “special mass” by the Church, then that option was not explained or given to me.

9. I am not saying that Father did not make the ceremony prayful. However as a staunch Roman Catholic, I required that communion be offered to me at my marriage.

10. I did bump into Father in the church compound recently and we did speak in a friendly manner. He did enquire if I had attended Sunday mass to which I did mention that I believe in attending mass on any day of the week, it does not have to be only sunday. We had a small discussion on this topic.

 

11. I’am upset that i could not get Holy Communion at a time when i wanted the most.

 

12.All i want is to understand & get clarity on why my cousin, who married a Keralite Hindu boy was offered communion whereas i a Roman Catholic, who married a Christian, was denied Holy Communion.

 

13.After being a staunch Roman Catholic for the past 47 yrs, singing & playing the guitar as a song leader for 7 years at I.C.Church Borivali(w) & offering my time,talent & tithes…this is what treatment i get???…so it’s better that i,my wife & our entire family offer our time, talents & tithes in the Jehovah’s Witness…

 

Thanks Greg for all the help you’ve given me & the work that you’ve been doing to “VOICE OUR SILENCE” so that Catholics around the world know what’s been going on in their & other Parishes too…

 

Yours in Christ

Lyndon A. D’Silva

 

Blog :  http://www.silentmaj.wordpress.com

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Seven Sacraments Altarpiece (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

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7 Comments

  1. dl28 said,

    July 6, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    What a shame! The motivation to join Jehovah’s Witness is only to shame the Catholic clergy? Couldn’t this have been sorted out with the concerned priest instead of blowing this all out of proportion? Isn’t that the first step in any situation? Discuss with the party concerned, then move on to a higher authority to intervene? Going to the press for publicity isn’t the way. You talk about being a staunch Catholic – attending Mass regularly, playing an instrument with the choir is one thing but being Catholic in the real sense that’s another thing altogether. Think about it!

    Like

  2. July 9, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    All said and done. We are not here to judge who is right n who is wrong.But what needs to be addressed is the constant change of rules or laws of the catholic church that are flouted by the priests themselves and the fact that there is nothing that is standard in our catholic church.

    In the case of Lyndon all this should have been discussed before the wedding and shud not have been left as a surprise element at the end..

    Importantly, whether it is a non catholic or a christian, i feel that laws like these actually drive people away from the church as well as hampers the growth of the catholic faith.

    The church from wat i see is living in the stone age and is not a progressive unit at all. Times have changed and so have peoples mentalities and ideologies. The catholic Church needs to stay abreast with the present times and not live in the past.

    True the basic fundamentals will always stay but certain adjustment need to be made in keeping with the time.

    On reading the earlier posts, it was mentioned abt attending Sunday mass as an obligation and no work shud come between our Sunday obligation, Had the Church forgotten that people these days work on Sundays and Saturdays as well, so what happens to them???,.

    Coming to church for mass has become anything but an obligation, as there are a million other reasons people come to attend mass.
    The church has to relax it’s stringent laws in keeping with the times and pay attention too all the mess that takes place within every Parish unit.

    Its easy to sit on a perch and dictate, but the common catholic man is the one bearing the brunt of all the ever changing laws of the church.
    Be it related to Music of the church or peoples participation in the mass.

    I feel it is best we go back to the Latin Mass, as regression is all i see happening, not progression..

    Cheers

    Like

    • July 11, 2012 at 12:48 pm

      Mario…very well written…
      i wana know why there’s different rules by different PP for different RC Churches…
      What Mr.Mario said is very much right that we shud go back to the Latin Mass…too much regression,transgression,oppression,corruption but no progression all around…
      The RC Church doctrines & laws ain’t taking people to heaven…because these so called RC Church & doctrines keep changing according to their whims & fancies…from one parish to the other & from one priest to another…
      Mr.dl28 & whoever on this site shud know that because the Church authorities were cold shouldered & not even bothered to revert back to me when i enquired that i had a wonderfull platform called SILENT VOICE to express my opinion…& Mr.dl28 it’s not me leaving & joining another sect but plenty of RC leaving the RC Church…isn’t this a shame to the RC Church & the clergy???so you better introspect your self & find out why is this happening???? or you & your family may be the next people leaving the RC Church…yours in Christ…

      Like

  3. September 13, 2012 at 9:06 am

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